epicrapbattlesofhistoryfandomcom-20200222-history
User blog:WonderPikachu12/Ness vs Steven Universe. Epic Rap Battles: Video Games vs History Bonus Battle
GUESS WHO'S BACK BACK AGAIN VIDEO GAMES VS HISTORY IS BACK THAT HAD ZERO FLOW I'M SORRY FOR THIS REALLY SHITTY JOKE THAT I SHOULD PROBABLY STOP NOW anyways Welcome back to Video Games vs History at last! Only it's not the return of Season 3 yet. That'll be back up properly soon enough. After my last Ness battle didn't go so well, I decided I wanted to reboot it. And eventuall I came up with this match-up. It's so perfect. We've got two white mage-esque, magical-shield-bearing heroes of groups of four fighting against invading aliens, both holding a connection to a previous hero that once defeated the leader of the invading aliens as well as maintaining strong connections to their mothers. I'd hurried to finish this up for the recent Steven Bomb. I'd wanted it out by Sunday or Monday, but then my computer fucked up yet again, so I wasn't able to use it again until just today, so whoops. This was originally gonna feature the Crystal Gems and Chosen Four, since they're part of the connection, but I JUST did a battle with the Chosen Four (albeit parodies of them), and the format I had in mind for that had matched up to that battle almost exactly, too. Plus, I haven't done regular 1v1 12x8 verse structure battles much lately, so I figured I'd make this simple. also, uh, warning, spoilers for both Steven Universe and Earthbound, so bewaaaaaare so ye uh enjoy and expect more VGvH battles soon! oh shit, also, this came out the same day that the first Steven Universe album was released on iTunes, so ye, nice timing. ---- EPIC RAP BATTLES: VIDEO GAMES VS HISTORY VS BEGIN Ness: A wild Steven Universe just appeared! I'm gonna SMAAASH!! this track! Leave you running back to your dad when I crack your gem in half! I fight aliens for a living, while you’re just giving them a hug! I’ll make sure this diss hurts! I've had tougher fights against a fetus! You're just bubbly and bumbling, busy bubbling trouble away, Face it, you can’t call yourself progressive if everyone is gay! Left on the sidelines by your kind, more subservient than a Pearl, Meanwhile, it’s been my destiny since birth to save the whole world! Such a mess of a wreck, decked by pests you wanna befriend, you’re pitiful, And can’t defend against the fact that you’re half a gem war criminal! You heal people when you spit, so I just know you won't diss Ness! It seems like I'm coming down with something… Homesickness! Steven Universe: I’m used to solving disputes with words, so I’ll win easy with these quips, Don’t even need to wield my Shield with those weak rhymes you’ve equipped! Stop talkin’! You're not Rockin or Brainshockin’, when your PK Thunder fails! Your fame came from Smash Bros. and you're overshadowed by Undertale! This mute, fruity dude can only abuse poor animals and people, Chosen to lead the heroes, but wasn’t even the one to beat the evil! Your praise and premise comes from you not being typical fantasy, But if I could love like you, it’d be a Shakespearean tragedy! Give us at least some emotion! You can’t cry or lie, but you always die, And you wonder why people always went, “I don’t like the smell of this guy!” This cult classic’s raps are lacking, better rip-off the Beatles or Blues Brothers! I’d rather stick with plumbers, you’re Earth-bound to run back to your Mother! Ness: This time you’re really getting schooled, so I suggest you take a seat, Looked up to your mom for so long, only to find she killed the beat! Your plot and show interest are more inconsistent than your air times, So why don’t you go ahead and cry and bring your talent back to life? You’re an abhorred bore whose lore shows you’re more a moron, And your legend stems from you being half human and half boron! You're speaking nonsense just like a Mr. Saturn or even your grandpa! It looks like I've scored a homerun, whereas Steven has bombed! Steven Universe: What, did Paula and Poo teach you how to rap, too? Oooh! No matter how high your level is, I’ll always be stronger than you! Here, take this Hourglass and go wish back for a better rap! You’re out of the elements you lack when you attempt to attack! Beat you in a flash and crack you like your baseball bat was! Knock you out of the park, when I hit you like the diamond! You Magican’t beat me! Stick to winning in your dreams! I'd say you're sans victory, but hey, that's just a Game Theory! Who Won? Ness Steven Universe Category:Blog posts